Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize