This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
NoShamevember. You game?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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