We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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