ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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