he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
