ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
