Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize