thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize