It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
