found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
