I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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