You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
