i would punch a child for taco bell
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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