So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
