I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize