We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
