He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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