walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
