butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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