SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
