Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
