Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize