Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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