Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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