I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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