Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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