We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
