I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
