Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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