Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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