I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize