It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
