think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
