And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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