I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
