Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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