i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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