All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
