K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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