I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am spending my child support on dildos
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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