I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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