Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
