is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
