it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize