Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
