Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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