Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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