tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
