My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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