i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize