That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
only if we run a train.
done.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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