Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
