I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
