I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
