Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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