i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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