Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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