Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
