And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize