He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
