and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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