Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
