i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
