She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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