Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
