True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
