Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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