Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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