I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
