so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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