I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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