quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Mom said you looked used
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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