I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize