Where are you?
In a non slutty way
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
