you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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