The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
